If you don't like it...bite it!

The Funniest Thing I've Seen In Like...Forever!!!

2006-01-12T08:58:00.000-06:00

I laughed out loud for like 5 minutes straight. My co-workers think I'm nuts now but I don't care. I love this. It just proves that I am not the only one that thinks she a cow! Click on it to make it bigger and read the names of her songs and the review by rolling I mean rotting stone. That is the funniest part of all. I love whoever made this and so should you. In all reality though...look at the full length one of her in the silver dress...it's really not that far off from reality. MOO MOO! Thanks to d-listed for the image!

For chelsea's Mama - Celebrity Comparison The Cowardly Lion - vs - Mariah Carey

2006-01-10T15:02:00.000-06:00

By George...I think she's onto something here!

Good Job Chelsea's Mama!

Is it just a coincidence that the Cowardly Lion has the word "cow" in it? I think not!

Sad Mariah News

2006-01-10T14:43:00.000-06:00

I have to report that I wrecked my car on Sunday. I was driving down a dark gravel road at 5am doing one of my other jobs and hit Mooriah. She was dressed in all black and in the dark I couldn't see her. Her head went into my windshield and her fat body tore the mirror off my drivers door. It also bent my wiper blade arm and I have to get it replaced. I didn't get a scratch on me but the cow (I mean Mooriah) had to be put down from a broken jaw. There is pieces of her hair, some blood and meat chunks stuck in my windshield still. It's really quite disgusting.
Maybe I will sell the chunks on ebay to the psycho Mooriah lovers. Maybe I will make millions!

Mariah Carey is a FAT Liar! I hate her and so should you!

2006-01-06T15:23:00.000-06:00

I am deeply annoyed by this album cover as it is an inacurate depiction of what fatass Mariah (whore) Carey really looks like.

Have you seen this cow lately? I mean seriously, this is some airbrushing magic. The person that did the airbrushing must have worked day and night for a month to make her body look this good! You don't believe me? Look at this picture of Mooriah singing at Dick Clarks New Years Eve party just last week!

Just look at her fricken thigh! It's H U G E! And look at her cheeks and double chin too. FAT!!!

I think that they should stop lying and show an accurate picture and title of the album. For instance just look at the one I came up with below:

They should also tell the truth about the album sales! Yes it has gone platinum but they forget to mention that the people buying it are farmers and such that are trying to get rid of pests like mice and crows. They play the cd at high volumes to scare away these pesty critters because some of the screaches on it are so high pitched they will make your eardrums bleed. Everyone hates it including wildlife. Kudos to Bite it Reader Doña Jimena for her comment below:

"There's another big reason to hate Mariah... She keeps singing (yes, those horrible screams are supposed to be a song)... and apparently she will never stop recording albums."

Which of course was followed with a comment by the psycho Mariah lover that e-mailed me that freaky but hilarious letter I posted yesterday for you all to see:

"i love mariah and hope she never stops singing...shes the best singer in the world and a great role model...she doesnt hav horrible screams either u jelous bastard...ur lame peices of shitget a life!!!love ya mariah"

First of all Twit...Mooriah will never see your little love letters you leave on sites like this. Even if she did do you think that you are going to get some thank-you from her? NO! You won't because she is a stuck up whore too busy screwing her way to a better career and even if she were wholesome (of which she's not) she wouldn't converse with the likes of you because you are obviously illiterate. Your spelling and grammar give it away! As much as I don't like Mariah Carey I think she would be more intelligent then you are, even my cat would be as far as that goes.

Mariah Carey SUCKS!

2006-01-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys....sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been working alot of overtime to pay for my holiday bills. I think I liked Christmas a whole lot more when I was 10. Anyway...I wasn't planning on posting today but a freaked out Mariah (whore) Carey fan didn't like my post on the top 10 reasons that I hate Mariah Carey and chose to e-mail the following to me. I thought it was hilarious and I had to share it with you. Enjoy!

At 11:35 PM, ur the whore said...
reasons why i hate u
1.your a whore
2.your jelous of mairah
3.mariah was locked up and made to cover up while she was married to that pig, now she is taking advantage of not covering up while she can
4.your a slut
5.your a phyco peice of shit (mariah was just a little over worked so dont start ok)
6.your a whore
7.i saw a slut and it reminded me of you
8.did u mention that you are a whore
9.peice of shit stop dissin mariah and go and get a life
10.oooh this is the main one now...your a whore

i also dont know how to use punctuation, capitalize or spell. Does anyone know how to spell jelous or phyco or peice? How about mairah? aren't the first letters of every sentence supposed to be capitalized? Aren't i suppose to capitalize i when i am referring to myself? isn't u spelled this way? when i type the word your and mean it as you are isnt there an apostraphe? I am obviously a twit; a fat one at that and idolize mariah carey becuz she is a the slut i wish i could be. i know dat married peeps arnt suppose to dress like whores but if i were skinny i wood dress like a whore. i wish i could just get a date. thank god that hostess invented all these yummy snacks to keep me occupied other then during the times that im not masterbating to maraih carey teenbop magazines and watching her awesome movie "Glitter". P. S. T is a whore!

Thar She Blows...

2005-12-02T14:52:00.000-06:00

Why is it that when you are a celebrity and you procreate you have to name your kid something completely off the wall and goofy? Is that in your contract or something. Well although this is not the weirdest or worst name I've heard I still dislike it and would never name my kid this! Anyway here goes...

CONGRAT'S TO BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER GARNER AFFLECK ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY GIRL...VIOLET!

You can get more specifics on the birth, well what little info there is by checking out Page Six! I''m just glad she finally got that kid out; I thought she was going to explode any day. My gosh she was GIGANTIC! It looked like there was triplets in there or something. Since we now know that it was only a single birth the kid must have weighed like 12 LBS. or something. You can listen to her giving birth by clicking here. ENJOY!

Happy Birthday Britney Spears!

2005-12-02T14:39:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITS!

For her present she gone and bought herselfs a brain, Uh Huh she did yes indeedie!

Or at least according to Perez Hilton she did anyways.

I just love it when these 2 squabble. I am seriously going to throw a party when it's officially over between the two of them. I truly can't stand the gold digger daddy K'Feds. Anyway...I love the story Perez Hilton reported...check it out!

Would Someone Just Kill This Bitch Already...

2005-12-02T14:28:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I'm doing this. I apologize for 2 Paris Hobag posts in one day but I have to say...WTF! According to Digital Spy...the slut is engaged AGAIN! Now she's engaged to Stavros, I'm an illiterate ape, Niarchos. Does she not understand that being engaged means that you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them because you love them so much? Paris has no idea what either of those terms mean. She is a dumb whore. I hate her and so should you!

The Sexiest Man ALIVE!

2005-12-02T14:16:00.000-06:00

HAVE YOU NOT CLICKED ON THE BEEFBOY LINK ON THE RIGHT OF THIS PAGE YET?

IF YOU HAVEN'T THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???

The Beefboy is the sexiest man alive! Ladies, the Beefboy is not only incredibly sexy, he is a genious and he is kind and thoughtful too. Look at what he sent my for my birthday last week! I love him and so should you. Lots of X's and O's back at you Beefbaby!

Paris Hilton Can NOT Sing Worth A Shit!

2005-12-02T14:10:00.000-06:00

Have your heard screwed yet? It is truly aweful. I don't even know how to describe it. She is terribly off tune and she keeps saying my hearts wide open and I think she has confused what heart and legs are because we all know that her legs are what is always wide open. Anyway...click on the link to listen to it and judge for yourself.

Paris To Discard Of Yet Another Pet

2005-11-18T11:56:00.000-06:00

Paris had been sent a letter of warning from The California Department for Fish and Game. Evidentally her new pet monkey thing (Kinkajou) that she named "Baby Luv" is illegal in California and she broke the law when she smuggled it into the state after purchasing it in Las Vegas recently. Paris has been told to take the thing back or charges will be pressed.

PETA spokeswoman was quoted as saying, "It seems Paris thinks animals are as disposable as friends and fiancés"! Paris' camp said that she is a law abiding citizen and will abide with the law.

I don't know why she'd want to keep the damn thing anyway. It is a wild animal that can't be tamed. It attacked her last week scratching her face and biting her as well. It will swing from curtain to curtain in a house because that's what it does on trees. What fun! I'm sure that Tinkerbell is relieved as well. It must suck for poor Tink to always play second fiddle to some new thing, animal or fiancé everyweek! Not only that poor Tink is forced to listen to Paris get laid by multiple different men on a regular basis and hear her giggle and say "That's Hot" all the time. I'm surprised Tink hasn't committed suicide by now! I would have!

Story Source: Female First - Image Source: CelebWorld

Britney Spears Has No Chilly Weather Clothes

2005-11-18T11:21:00.000-06:00

So she goes out wearing this get-up. God that looks just horrible. She must have borrowed the fur coat from Jamie Lynn because it obviously doesn't fit her. The whole thing looks awful and she knows it too because she put her hair up in a ponytail and went out winter clothing shopping. Evidentally just the right outfit makes your hair and everything look so much better. Now if she'd lose that purse we'd be talking big improvement. I'm waiting for the PETA people to attack her very soon! All she has to do to keep them or anybody for that matter away is bring a ghetto blaster with her everywhere she goes. If they procede to pounce...she just has to pop in a track off of hubbies cd and they will run away with their hands on their ears screaming in pain. Maybe I should try that. If I did maybe I could get free stuff. Just play it when I want to leave the store without paying and nobody would stop me...right? hahaha

Image Source: CelebWorld

Victoria Gotti Is A Very Protective Mommy

2005-11-18T10:52:00.000-06:00

According to Page 6 Victoria Gotti is quite protective of her gelly haired sons and doesn't take lightly to anyone speaking poorly of them, even when it's the truth.

Victoria's son Carmine is one of the contestants on VH1's "But Can They Sing" (click to watch it for yourself) and let me tell ya...he's aweful. No, he absolutely can NOT sing. Well anyway, last week after Carmine slaughtered you remind me by Usher the host of the show, "Ant" said that Carmine sounded like a cat caught in a muffler (which is the truth). Victoria went apeshit. They had to shut down taping of the show for over an hour because of her ranting and raving.

If I were "Ant" I would apologize promptly. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up missing and they find him at the bottom of a lake with cement shoes. After all, you don't want to piss off the Gotti's. Mob King's and all. I know that kind of stuff isn't supposed to be going on anymore but even if it is...are they going to really admit it? C'mon Now!

Check It Out...I Am Number 3 On A Yahoo Search

2005-11-18T10:46:00.000-06:00

I have to pat myself on the back. I usually am way at the bottom of a search engine but Yahoo has seen it fit to place me at #3 when you search for walking vomit Kim Stewart. I will go buy myself a Peanut Buster Parfait now. I am so proud!

Kimberly Stewart - NOT In Good With Her Future In-Laws

2005-11-18T10:34:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I reported that Kim Stewart and Talon from Laguna Beach have suddenly announced they are engaged. They are gathering their paperwork and getting married this weekend in Las Vegas as a matter of fact. Talon's mom is hysterical and won't stop crying about it. Honestly, could any mother be happy about this though? Can't you just hear it now?

Hello family...meet my skank...I mean daughter in law. Her name is Kim and her dad is Rod Stewart. He says that blow these days isn't the same quality as it used to be. It used to be so much more pure and now there's lots of stuff mixed with it so it's not as good. What do you think?

I'm sure that will go over real well with Grams and Gramps! Mama Talon...I feel your pain!

Source: Page Six

Kimberly Stewart Is Engaged To Talon From Laguna Beach

2005-11-17T09:36:00.000-06:00

I think she is just disgusting and so should you. I refer to her as walking vomit! I'm sure that Talons parents are thrilled he is marrying the skank. She gets engaged to everyone she dates so I don't anticipate this lasting too long. As a matter of fact she has only been dating him for like a month. She just broke up with the girls gone wild producer last month so how can these 2 honestly think they are "in love" and ready to spend the rest of their lives together? Oh yeah, she is BFF with Paris Hilton. That explains it. She needs to be engaged to someone to keep up with Paris.

Source: People

Pray For This Child Please!

2005-11-16T14:51:00.000-06:00

See this sweet looking innocent little girl?

Well get those sugary thoughts out of your head because she's not very nice.

She beat up her dads girlfriend.

This is my daughter and she has been very very naughty. I would appreciate if you prayed for her to get over this funk that she is in. Right now I am trying to do the tough love thing for her and it's harder on me then it is her I think. Anyway, keep her in your prayers for me. Thanks!

Will The Real Billionaire Stavros Please Stand Up?

2005-11-16T14:39:00.000-06:00

Wow, I am in amazement. Could it be that there truly is an EVIL Stavros Look-A-Like?

Well, the look alike has more chest hair but the dude is dressed the same as Stavros and everything. I wonder what this guys purpose for this is and why Stavros tolerates it. If I were the real Stavros I would have beat the crap out him rather then my hotel room. This is just too creepy. I'm sure that he's has a time or two with Paris in the sack as well. Bunch Of Freaks!

Who Said It Game Of The Week

2005-11-16T13:12:00.000-06:00

Which female celebrity said this stupid quote? Remember I am a broke ass so I can't give you a real prize but I will post your name on the site if you are the winner. Here Goes:

"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra".

Yeah, I don't get it either???

Good Luck Everyone!

Serena Williams = YUCK!

2005-11-16T13:03:00.000-06:00

Just look at this picture I found of Serena Williams walking her Great Dane with Shaquille O'Neil behind her. Yes, it really is a great dane and Shaq. The thing is that her ASS and legs are so huge that it makes the dog and shaq look much smaller then they really are.

Serena has Junk in the Trunk and I'm not talking about her car's trunk either.

Damn girl! That looks just nasty!

Paris Got Dumped

2005-11-16T11:50:00.000-06:00

Seriously...earlier I reported that Paris was saying how Stavros and his friends were too immature for her and that she was very upset about his "pillow fight". Well it looks like Stavros did the dumping (On Sunday) before she could and Paris wasn't pleased. When he left she was crying out his name and saying please come back and he didn't return. The reason you ask? SHE is a bad influence. According to Stavros, Paris is constantly saying, "Let's party like rock-stars"! Stavros is tired of partying everynight of the week and evidentally his family is tired of hearing about and paying for the aftermath. Stavros' family called him and yelled at him. They told him to get away from Paris because she is a bad influence and that they loved him. Stavros' splitting words. "I should have been home studying, but instead I am here paying for $100,000.00 in bills. I need to reflect"!

I think that's funny. The queen of dumping men and hurting them got dumped. I love it!

Oh it just keeps getting better and better

2005-11-16T11:22:00.000-06:00

More Britney and Kevin News...I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! Oh my goodness compose myself...OK Here Goes! For weeks I have been saying that since Brit is tired of Kevin and he obviously knows it that he would be out looking for his next gal pal to freeload off of in case Britney cut him off. Well, I always predicted that he would run back to Shar and evidentally I was right! Now here is the story!

Remember when Britney took Sean and flew home to Lousiana for a while to be with her mom. Well, while she was gone Kevin went out partying and didn't even call her. Well, now Kevin has added more to what he did. Kevin went partying with Shar. Britney is livid I guess. Who wouldn't be! Anyway...not only that Kevin told Britney that he plans on buying Shar and his kids a home near Britneys 3.4 million dollar malibu home. My question though is how is HE going to buy it. He has no money of his own. LOSER! "Britney is seeing red with Kevin right now. She always seemed very jealous that Kevin's feelings for Shar still linger on. Britney is also fuming over Kevin spending so much time on his CD project and not with her and Sean." It is said his confession that he bumped into Shar at a club while Britney was home with seven-week-old Sean was the last straw.

Now Shar is going around telling everyone that Kevin and her discussed it and they are both in love with one another and nothing will ever change that. "I'm gonna love Kevin forever," Shar told a reporter. When she was asked if Kevin still loved her, she replied: "He doesn't have a choice. I got in there. You can't just get rid of that." I feel bad for Britney but what can ya do. He is a loser and it's sad he screwed Britney over like this. I hate him and so should you.

Source: Yahoo News

K - Fed (Daddy) Broke His Hand

2005-11-16T11:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's true...Daddy has broken his hand but what he was doing is the funny part. We all know that Britney has kicked him to the curb for their trial seperation so Kevin could sort out his priorities. Well, daddy's idea of sorting out his priorities is going clubbing everynight and rocking out. So much so in fact that the "professional dancer" fell on his ass while showing everyone his awesome moves at the Spider Club this weekend. He landed on his hand and fractured it.

What an idiot. Kevin doesn't need any help making himself look like an ass but this must have been hilarious to see. I can't stand him! Evidentally nobody else can either because according to MSNBC, Star Magazine did a poll of 5400 of it's readers and 96% of them think that K-Fed is a gold digger. Evidentally if Britney divorces him now, she will have to pay him $30,000.00 because of the pre-nup. Why does she have to pay him? Well, he spends that on a weekly basis so I don't see how giving him $30 G now to make him go away would really be a problem.

Paris Has HAD IT With Greek Shipping Heirs

2005-11-16T09:39:00.000-06:00

(Sorry that I had to post another picture of Paris)

We all heard yesterday about how Paris is upset with Stavros after his "pillow fight" at the Hard Rock Hotel this weekend lead up to causing $100,000.00 in damage. Paris was overheard telling Kelly Osbourne "Just look at this mess! I don't want them (The Hard Rock Hotel) to think I bring in people who do this stuff. Paris has had it with Stavros after this room trashing stunt," said a source close to the celebrity heiress. "She thinks he and his crazy buddies are way too immature for her." While Stavros was overheard telling staff at the Hard Rock Hotel, "Why are you so upset? It's all going to be paid for." In typical Stavros fashion. Paris' boy toy caused water damage to at least 4 rooms as well as destroying his room and it's belongings. Paris was livid and she holds him personally responsible for what happened. According to one of Paris' friends, the act of hooliganism may be the final straw for her relationship with Stavros.

I find this especailly funny because yesterday I read a report that said Paris was quoted as saying, "Stavros and I are very much in love"!

But wait...it gets better! Now we all know that Paris never lies, like the time she said that she wasn't aware she was being video taped having sex with whats his face but when you watch it she waves at the camera, says hi to the camera etc. etc. etc. Well, today Camp Hilton is saying that the person the destroyed the rooms was not Stavros at all but "A LOOK ALIKE" of him. YEAH RIGHT! This happens all the time...evidentally this Stavros look alike is everywhere that Paris and Stavros go and is mistaken for him all the time. Stavros just paid for the damage to be a good sport. uh huh! Does she expect us to really believe that? Dumb Bitch!

Source: Yahoo News

Anna Nicole Is BI - Sexual

2005-11-16T09:23:00.000-06:00

Page Six is reporting today that while Anna Nicole was playing Bingo at Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood last week for Charity she took home a prize of her own. A blond bar-maid named Tracy. When Tracy came back to work the next day she wasn't keeping quiet about her night with Anna. She shared multiple digital camera images of her and Anna, told everyone about how Anna likes to spank and her neck was covered with hickies. Now that is just GROSS! I am waiting to hear Anna's response to this. Was she drunk? I'm sure she'll blame it on some sort of prescription drugs she was taking or something to that effect. Nothing is EVER her fault!

WTF! Someone Is WAY Exagerating This!

2005-11-11T14:36:00.000-06:00

Have you seen the video of Stavros driving Paris' Bentley and wrecking it? Well here it is in case you haven't. You must watch it if you haven't seen it for the rest of this to make sense...

So anyway I'm surfin the net looking for interesting stories and I find this one. It says for the headline: Paris Hilton Escapes Freak Car Smash so of course this catches my eye 'cuz I'm thinking was she in a serious accident that I missed out on or something. That headline makes it sound like a bridge fell out from under her and she barely survived it. Well, no it wasn't another accident, it was the same stupid one she was in with Stavros in her Bentley Wednesday and the whole article makes it sound so scary and tramatic. It goes on to say...The reality TV star was leaving a Hollywood nightclub in a plush silver Bentley, when her vehicle collided with a heavy goods wagon. It is not known how fast the star's car was travelling. it was confirmed no one was hurt in the smash.

What a bunch of crap.

The "Smash"! It was a scratch on her hood.

A "Heavy Goods Wagon"! It was an empty trailer.

The speed the vehicle was going was "Not Known". How about 3 miles an hour for about a yard or so.

It was confirmed that noone was hurt. Well, I would hope not. They were laughing for God's Sake!

That really made me laugh today. What a fucking joke! How Ridiculous!

Dita Von Tesse Throws A Temper Tantrum (Yeah, I didn't know who she was either)

2005-11-11T14:00:00.000-06:00

Until I looked it up and said, "oh yeah, she's that freak"! I will help refresh your memory as well.

Dita is a burlesque dancer

She has been on the cover of Playboy and countless other mags but more importantly she is engaged to....

Marilyn Manson!

Yep, now you remember. Well anyway...She was sceduled to perform her well known Martini Glass dance bit at an exclusive Victoria's Secret Party but refused to go onstage after a DJ introduced her as "a stripper that was attached to a freak".

Evidentally she doesn't like you to call Marilyn a freak even though that's what everyone calls him and thinks about him and just because she takes off her clothes on stage she is NOT a stripper. She is a burlesque dancer dammit!

Well when she wouldn't get on stage the DJ kept saying "Get the fuck on stage" which just made her even more angry. By the end of the night she did receive an apology from the event producer for the lack of respect by the DJ. I bet the producer showed a lack of respect to the DJ when he shitcanned him later that night either.

Anyway, they are both freaks and they know it. I don't know why she would be offended they bring it on themselves. As a matter of fact they are planning on getting married next month and instead of exchanging the traditional vows...they are swapping blood instead. Now if that aint freaky I don't know what is! Truth hurts Dita evidentally!

Source: Female First

Julia Roberts Is Depressed

2005-11-11T13:27:00.000-06:00

The Bosh and countless other sites are all saying that Julia is quite depressed. I know her second marriage is failing, she's 38 and she has to raise twin babies with dumb names and all but that isn't what has got her depressed. She's sad because she's not what she used to be and everyone seems to know it. Realization is a hard thing for her I guess. She sits around all day in front of the entertainment center watching her film "Pretty Woman" and crying about it.

Here is an old picture of Julia when she was known as the most beautiful woman in America. Indeed she is gorgeous. Now critics are all calling her a hobo because she seems to be going downhill.

Here is a more recent picture of America's Sweetheart! Egads...she does look terrible, especially compared to the above photos. I hope she comes out of this though because she always has been one of my favorite actresses. I hope she doesn't opt for cosmetic surgery though in an effort to regain her youth. When stas start doing that, they end up looking like this! Sad Sad Sad!

Jessica's Personal Life Is Her Business Only

2005-11-11T13:12:00.000-06:00

Last week the tabloids were all talking about how Jessica is so tired of people's speculation about her marriage to Nick Lechey that she had to start seeing a counselor to help her deal with it.

Now today Jessica was doing an interview with someone and they asked her about her personal life which evidentally was a big mistake. Jess stopped the interview and left. I would say the poor girl has had just about all she can take of this! The thing I don't understand is why it's so upsetting to her? If they aren't breaking up of which her and Nick both say isn't happening and the speculation of a divorce is truly just speculation. Then what it the problem? Let people think what they want when you know the truth. What's the big deal! I could understand if it was something that would ruin your reputation like them saying you don't really sing your own music and it's all digital and lip syncing like her sister Asslee has gone through but I don't think she even had to seek counseling after that ordeal. Whatever I guess!

Thank-You Veterans

2005-11-11T12:47:00.000-06:00

A word of thanks to all those military people that serve or have served our country and those that have selflessly given their lives for us to have the freedom and liberty that we have and love. There is not enough words I can say that can express the heartfelt thanks that you deserve!

Happy Veterans Day!

Criminals....I just don't get it!

2005-11-11T12:27:00.000-06:00

Of course nobody that is normal understands the psyche of any criminal. Nobody knows what drives someone to commit murder or rape but this one really confuses me.

Meet Steven Avery. Steven was convicted of rape and spent 18 years (of a 32 year sentence) in prison. Of course he denied that he was guilty the entire time but thanks to modern technology he was released in 2003 because a DNA test proved that he in fact didn't rape the person.

Oops! Sorry for that mistake Steven!

(above: Steven being released from prison with family members at his side in 2003)

Fast Foreward to this week, 2005. Steven has been arrested for murdering this woman. This is Teresa Halbach. Teresa was a photographer that takes pictures for those car magazines that sell used vehicles. Well, she went on assignment at the salvage yard that Steven's family owns. She was never seen again. Her SUV was found at the salvage yard and the key to her SUV was found in his bedroom. There was blood found in many of the rooms at the salvage yard and his vehicle and to top it off, they found her burned/charred remains yesterday at the salvage yard.

Now, why in the world would someone that was released from prison for a crime they didn't commit do something like this and be thrown back in prison for life or possibly even receive a death sentence? Is the free world really so tough that prison life is more appealing? I just don't get it. I love my freedom. It's very sad indeed. My heart goes out to the Halbach family.

Sienna Miller Must Be Taking Lessons From Cameron Diaz

2005-11-11T11:39:00.000-06:00

Just look how she runs at them and hits them with her purse outside of her home!

You go girl! I would be pissed off too if I couldn't even step foot out my front door without some people taking my picture 24/7!

I'm sure a lawsuit from the papparazzi will soon follow?

Image Source: CelebWorld

Celebrity Comparison - Dolly Parton and The Joker

2005-11-11T10:33:00.000-06:00

Need I say more?

Gee, I wonder if someone had a face lift? It looks like she wouldn't even be able to talk. Like her face is pulled so tight that her eyebrows give off a surprised look all the time and that her mouth is stuck in a permenant smile. Wowzers...why do some celebrities do this to themselves?

Jennifer Garner Is Fat!

2005-11-11T10:25:00.000-06:00

I am completely aware that she is pregnant but according to Insider Online it's not just pregnancy that is making her fat. Jen can't get enough Tootsie Rolls and eats them non stop all day and night!

After the baby is born she will be getting alot of dental work done due to all the cavities!

Paris Haters List...Continued

2005-11-11T09:46:00.000-06:00

I think this is going to become a weekly post as someone scathes about the little selfish whore at least once a week.

This week I am adding Shirley Jones to the list. Yes, Mama Partridge hates Paris Hilton and made sure everyone knows how she feels. Evidentally Shirley is an avid reader of Vanity Fair magazine and last month when they had Paris posing topless on the cover Shirley was not pleased. Shirley wrote a letter to the editor and said this: " "I have admired and enjoyed your magazine since the beginning, but having a porn star on your cover was very disturbing to me. I had hoped your wonderful magazine was above this."

Camp Hilton had no reply, but we all know what Paris probably said!

Source: The Insider Online

Britney Spears Is Angry About Rumors...Again!

2005-11-11T08:46:00.000-06:00

According to Female First, Britney is once again angry about what the tabloids are saying about her. Britney is furious that the tabloids are saying that she has had a tummy tuck since she had little Sean Preston. She has a fantastic body before and after baby and is working out to maintain it. I'm sure she is working even harder now that she has kicked K-Fed to the curb. Afterall she has to look really hot to lure in a new baby daddy.

Homewrecker Angelina Jolie Plans To Set The Record Straight

2005-11-11T08:33:00.000-06:00

Angelina is tired of everyone talking about her relationship with Brad Pitt and is planning on announcing "the truth" on national television!

Female First is reporting that a source is quoted in Britain's Daily Star newspaper as saying: "Angelina's told Brad it's time they came clean about their relationship on TV. She's just looking for the right show to set the record straight"

Earlier this week it was revealed that Brad is desperate for Angelina to reunite with her estranged father - so he can walk her down the aisle when they marry. Brad wants Angelina to put the past behind them so they can concentrate on being a real family, according to Life and Style magazine.

Ozzy Osbourne Is Randy...All The Time

2005-11-11T08:24:00.000-06:00

Sharon Osbourne is telling everyone more information then they wanted to hear! According to Sharon; Ozzy is like a f'n rabbit. Ozzy and her have sex every night they are together and is always wanting more.

I was kind of shocked when I heard that because I'm surprised Ozzy could get it up let alone stay awake long enough to have sex. The man appears drunk or stoned everytime you see him!

Source: Female First

Russell Crowe Needs Anger Management Classes

2005-11-11T08:15:00.000-06:00

Earlier this year Russell got in that tiff with the hotel worker and through a telephone at him (busting up his face) because he couldn't figure out how to dial an Austrailian number from it.

Now Female First is reporting that Russell made an ass of himself in a resturant where he was dining with his wife and friends. After Russ had a few glasses of wine he started arguing with his wife Danielle to the point of where they both stood up and were having a face off. Danielle then went to the bathroom for 10 minutes and came back out. Upon her coming back the arguing had stopped but tensions were high and you could tell nobody at the table was pleased.

YOU NEVER EVER ARGUE IN FRONT OF ANYONE! It makes you look like an ass and a trashy one at that.

Paris Hilton Is Tricky!

2005-11-11T08:04:00.000-06:00

Page Six is reporting today that Paris Hilton has not given back her engagement ring to ex-fiancé Paris Latsis because he didn't really give it to her!

That''s right folks. This ring that everyone has been oohing and aweing over is not the ring he gave her nor is it even real. It is a cubic zerconia that Paris bought herself. The ring he gave her was much smaller then this and since the smaller ring was evidentally not spectacular enough, she bought this fake giant gawdy thing to make everyone think he gave her a million dollar diamond. We fell for it of course. I do wonder where the real engagement ring is at though? I wonder if she has or ever will give it back since she is the one that called off the engagement and all. Technically she should but with her selfishness track record; I don't see it happening!

Being A Ho Is In The Hilton Bloodline

2005-11-10T16:38:00.000-06:00

I'm certain that when news of Paris' porn video spread Mommy Kathy thought back to her younger days of being wild and sewing her oats and thought, "gee, I really hope nothing I did ever comes back to haunt me like this"! Mama Hilton Kathy certainly couldn't be too angry at Paris as Ho'in is evidentally something that teenage Hilton women are supposed to do!

Check out this eBay Auction for instance. Some high school friend or as Kathy put it, "escort" of hers named Pierce decided to tell us all about Kathy's not so proper years and throw in a couple pics of Kathy as well. I did notice the resemblence of her and Paris. Especially since she is doing the signature Paris pose in the bikini one. Mama must have taught Paris..."The Pose".

Here is a polaroid of Kathy Hilton laying spread eagle on a bed with her shirt undone and no bra. Classy! I bet she is going to have to get some tranquilizers when the news of this breaks. Might someone think she's not as proper as she makes herself out to be? What a slap in the damn face! I LOVE IT! Now I certainly wouldn't pay $2000.00 for these photos but I would pay $2.00 to watch Kathy be in a fit of rage and anxiety since these pics have surfaced. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Everyone Is Having A Baby These Days...

2005-11-10T16:14:00.000-06:00

Tuesday I reported that Halle Berry is preggers...now today I read about 2 other celebrities that are having babies as well.

Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are expecting their second child in May. Reports The Insider They already have a daughter, Natalia that will be 3 in January.

Yahoo News is reporting that Late Night Star Conan O'Brien and his wife Liza had a 8 LB. 4 Oz. baby boy they named Beckett on Wednesday.

Congrats to all the new proud parents and parents to be!

How To Treat Depression - Paris Hilton Edition

2005-11-10T15:07:00.000-06:00

What does any normal gal do after her Greek Shipping Heir Billionaire Boy Toy of the moment crashes her $100,000.00 Bentley into a truck then backs up and hits an autograph seeker and doesn't even stop or care? (Click here to see that video by the way!)

They eat cereal of course...and lots of it by the looks of things.

Who Said It Game - WINNER!

2005-11-10T09:39:00.000-06:00

Well, everyone guessed it correctly but m19 guessed it correctly first so she is the winner! Congrats m19!

Brooke Shields is the twit that said this: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Gee, Ya think Brooke? I can't believe she said that!

I will find a harder one for next Monday! You guys are too smart!

It's Like Christmas In December! Kevin FINALLY Got The Boot - Yipeee!!!

2005-11-10T09:23:00.000-06:00

I am so so so happy! I can't believe that it finally happened and earlier then my prediction was even. According to New Zealand's STUFF.com Britney has kicked Kevin to the curb for good! What was the final straw? Nobody knows the real reason but evidentally one reason may be that Kevin was Dirty Dancing with Ashlee Simpson? Yuck! Now Ass is going to have to write a new song called I didn't want you husband. I don't like her anyway and I hope that Britney kicks her little ass so hard that Ass's Acid Reflux comes out her mouth!~

I never hated Britney. I rally behind her! I think that this is a brave strong thing to do and it is definately for the best. I am super excited to see who he goes after now! Back to Shar???

Who Said It Game...

2005-11-08T15:30:00.000-06:00

What female celebrity said this stupid quote?

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Take a guess at who said it. If you guess correctly I will make mention of who gave me the correct answer on the website.

How To Make Your Spouse Feel Good - Madonna Style

2005-11-08T14:47:00.000-06:00

What does a loving wife do to let her huband know how much she loves him and how important he is to her?

Well if you are Madonna you go on a talk show and tell them that you married your husband to make you look good and because he was sexy and now you realize that you married him for all the wrong reasons.

I'm sure that her husband Guy Ritchie felt wonderful when her heard her say that! Wouldn't any husband be elated? Hey, you can never ever accuse Madonna of sugar coating or lying about anything I guess. Wow she is ballzy!

Source: Female First

Pete Doherty Is A Baby Daddy (of two)

2005-11-08T14:18:00.000-06:00

YUCK! It was amazing enough to me that supermodel Kate Moss would date such a piece of filth. Then the cocaine snorting video surfaced and it made sense as anyone would have to be totally and completely jacked up to stand to be in the same room as this guy.

Now today MTV news is reporting that Pete is a father of two. Well maybe that is! Pete has one child for sure but during an interview he recently did the loser was high on drugs (surprise) and made a statement that he does have another baby which shocked everyone because nobody else knew that. He went on to say that the mother won't let him near the little boy (another surprise) and that his family does see the child on occasion so that is good I guess?

Excuse me, I have to go scrub myself with scalding hot water, pine sol and a brillo pad now. The thought of him is so repulsive it makes me feel unclean and stinky. Yuck...Just Yuck!

Halle Berry Is Preggers

2005-11-08T14:11:00.000-06:00

Take a look at the belly as it is in this pic because it is about to become no longer existent! MTV News Uncut is reporting today that Halle Berry is in fact preggers by her boyfriend Michael Ealy. They started dating soon after Halle divorced her sex addict husband Eric Benet.

Congrats Halle and Michael!

Why do we care?

2005-11-08T13:14:00.000-06:00

So I am looking everywhere for some juicy scoop to blog about to all of you and I come across an article with a picture of Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson and it's titled. They are NOT dating.

Ok Great..I could spend all damn day typing out names of couples that are NOT dating. I realize it's because he was a guest star on an episode of her show "Stacked" (I didn't know that was still on the air. I thought it was cancelled) and people are wondering if it means something. WHO CARES!

The other day a dude sat at the light when it was green and I honked so he'd pay attention and move his ass. He flipped me off. It means nothing and he and I aren't dating. Again, nobody cares, just as much as I don't care about who Pamela Anderson is NOT dating.

By the way...in case you haven't noticed...nothing exciting has happened. That would be why I'm forced to write about meaningless garble. Sorry

Natalie Cole Is Dumb...

2005-11-07T16:24:00.000-06:00

So if you are singing a song at a benefit for Alzheimers what song would you sing? Well according to Page Six Natalie Cole obviously didn't put much thought into picking a song when she chose to sing "Unforgettable". Yes, It's a beautiful song especially when she sings it as a duet with her deceased father Nat but still, it was a poor choice. She must have forgotten what the benefit was for.

Hey Natalie, would you like me to spray some type of "I can't believe it's not butter" substance in your mouth to help loosen your foot? Seriously honey, fire whoever it was that told you to sing that at a benefit for Alztheimers immediately! Hopefully nobody will remember this incident! hahaha

Michael Jackson's New Album...I Can't Wait!

2005-11-07T11:54:00.000-06:00

Michael Jackson is reportedly recording songs with his three children. . .The pop superstar, is reportedly planning to release an album one day with his eight-year-old son Prince Michael, his seven-year-old daughter Paris and his three-year-old son Prince Michael II, (who is known as Blanket)...According to America's New York Post newspaper, the family has been laying down tracks in a London recording studio - although Prince Michael II is not yet old enough to sing.

What fantastic news! I haven't been this excited since "MOONWALKER" was released on VHS! I got to thinking though...I wonder how good the children will sound singing since they are always covered with those shawls? Either way though...my Christmas gift wish list is now complete!

Elton John Plans His Second Wedding

2005-11-07T11:42:00.000-06:00

Congrats are in order for Sir Elton John. According to FemaleFirst he and his long-time partner of 11 years David Furnish have booked a swanky castle for their Christmas nuptials. The pair are said to have hired Windsor's MacDonald Castle Hotel for mid-December - the same time as a new law allowing homosexuals to legally marry comes into effect. "They have organised a lavish meal to the finest detail". Last week, the flamboyant star told journalists at a fundraiser for his AIDS Foundation he was planning to be one of the first couples to wed under the new laws. He is quoted on the website Gay.com as saying: "It's going to be on the 21st of December. That's all I know at the moment". Last year, the singer revealed he had already picked his wedding guests, "I think I would like Lulu as my maid of honour and Victoria Beckham as my best man!" Won't that be neat?

This will not be the first wedding for Elton John. On Valentines Day 1984 he married engineer Renate Blauel in; the couple stayed married for four years, although he later admitted he realized he was homosexual before his marriage. Well, I'm sure she appreciated that!

Paris Hilton Bruises Easily

2005-11-07T11:06:00.000-06:00

Poor poor Paris Hilton. She has got it so rough. Not only is she completely worthless and stupid as the day is long. She has to shop relentlessly with her daddy's money and be followed by "fans" on a daily basis which sometimes leaves her with bruises. Poor thing. According to Page Six, THOSE ugly bruises Paris Hilton was sporting on a Jimmy Choo shopping spree this week can be blamed on over-ardent fans, says Hilton consultant Elliot Mintz. "She's very slender and can bruise easily," Mintz explains. "And that's what happens when too many people are coming at her and bodyguards are trying to move her around." Mintz said Paris was in Las Vegas recently when she got mobbed. "You can say it was frenzied fan overreaction," he said — and the bruises are "absolutely, positively not" caused by her muscular new lover, Stavros Niarchos.

I was really hoping that someone beat the crap out of her just for being a worthless whore. What a wonderful day that will be when that finally does happen. Hey, I can dream can't I?

Matthew McConaughey Dinner Invitation

2005-11-07T11:00:00.000-06:00

I would like to invite Mathew McConaughey over for dinner at his earliest convenience! Thebosh.com is reporting that Mathew says that the smell and taste of food turns him on so much that he has to stop eating sometimes because he is getting so aroused by the food. Well, if that is the case he is more then welcome to come by my place anytime for any meal he would like to eat. I get turned on by just looking at him, so this would work out just fine for me! I would be happy to slave over a hot stove all day long, everyday for Mathew McConaughey! He is YUMMY and his voice is so sexy I swoon!

Sharon Osbourne Calls Madonna A Hooker

2005-11-07T10:09:00.000-06:00

But isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? I mean seriously!

Lately I have been reading rude statements made by Sharon Osbourne about pretty much everyone and now her latest target is Madonna. Last month she said she would like to punch Madonna and that she sees Madonna in her nightmares. Now last week she ranted about Madonna constantly changing her image and says the 47-year-old mother-of-two should act her age. ."It's like dressing up with her. One day you're in f***ing gun gear, then you're in horsing gear, then you dress like a f***ing dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you're in a flowery dress reading kids' poetry looking like you're a f***ing librarian - then you're back looking like an old hooker again."You can't one day be in Horse and Hound magazine and the next in Dyke Weekly". Sharon has also ridiculed Madonna's children's books, which are based on the teachings of the mystic Jewish faith Kabbalah. She told Word magazine: "Writing those painful, silly children's books and reading them to your kids - if my mum came up to me with a book like that I'd say, 'F***ing stick it up you're a***' F***ing 'English Roses' - b*****ks" .

Well, no wonder Sharon and Ozzy's kids are so f'd up! Their mom should get some type of bad parenting award! I doubt Sharon ever read to them as children and you know Ozzy didn't because I don't think he CAN read.

Who Wore My Grandma's Tablecloth Better?

2005-11-07T09:42:00.000-06:00

The answer is not Shannen Doherty or Natasha Richardson...the answer my friends is my grandmother's table. It looks best there and should remain there...forever!

Tinkerbell Is Back

2005-11-04T16:23:00.000-06:00

A few months ago Paris started carrying around that Rat/Ferret thing and made a statement that she didn't like Tinkerbell anymore because he was getting too big. I think it's because Tinkerbell knew too many of her secrets and was blackmailingh her! Well either way, I am happy to report that evidentally Paris has changed her mind and started hanging out with Tink again. I wonder if she was just wanting to get on the animal lovers good side or what. She definately isn't doing it for Tinks sake!

Image Source: CelebWorld

Tara Reid Is Sober

2005-11-04T16:13:00.000-06:00

What does Tara Reid do to help with the depression of her show being cancelled? Well, since Tara drinks just because it's a day of the week that ends with day she needed to do something else...shop. Since it is a rare occurance I decided to post a picture I just got of her because I am astounded that she's not drunk or at least doesn't appear to be. It is early in the day though. She usually isn't completely drunk by 9am but give her till noon and she will be passed out. Little lush!

Image Source: CelebWorld

Nick Lachey Is Missing

2005-11-04T16:02:00.000-06:00

According to thebosh Jessica Simpson's husband Nick Lachey has vanished and noone has seen or heard from him at all for the past 2 weeks. Jessica is gone abroad on Safari with her daddy (the perv) and her reps are saying Nick is out of the country recording an album but since the rumor mill is saying they are splitsville nobody believes that story. So, Where is Nick??? I think he got fed up with her dingy ass and ran off with someone that he can have a civilized conversation with, like his socks or possibly a tree. Either of them is smarter then Jessica is!

Britney And Kevin's Ex's Hook Up?

2005-11-04T15:45:00.000-06:00

Do you know who they are? That is Shar Jackson (Kevins ex and mom of 2 of his kids) and Jason Alexander (Britney's first husband) getting awefully cozy with one another.

This pic was taken at L.A. Smashbox Studios; Mercedes-Benz Spring 2006 fashion show. Shar and Jason not only sat next to each other at the Mercedes-Benz fashion show, Jason was seen with his arm affectionately draped over Shar's shoulder. Gossipers everywhere are eating their hearts out, wishing they could have been a fly on the fashion show wall to hear Shar and Jason badmouthing Britney and Kevin. Unconfirmed rumors circulate that Shar said: "Just because the trailer trash moves into a mansion doesn't mean it won't stink"!

Source: The Bosh

Paris Hilton Is Mean

2005-11-04T15:29:00.000-06:00

I remember a while back Paris was quoted as saying, "Good things happen to me because I'm a good person"! uh-huh yeah right...

Here is a video of Paris Hilton on a cell phone saying someone else (probably Mary-Kate Olsen) is ugly, anorexic and jealous. Meanwhile she is with Kim Stewart who by the way is one of the ugliest people I have ever seen. Hell, Paris is such a Bitch that she is probably talking about Kim right in front of her, who knows. Thought you would enjoy it though.

Video Source: CelebWeb

Whenever You Think Your Life Is Bad And Things Couldn't Get Worse...

2005-11-04T12:37:00.000-06:00

...then take a look at how bad some other people have it and you'll quickly realize that you aren't as bad off as you thought you were. Today I found 2 different stories of people that I feel very bad for and I thought maybe if I shared these stories I found that it might make a difference to someone else as well. So Here Goes:

Story #1

This is Rachel and Clare Wallmeyer. They are identical 33 year old twins that are fighting Anerexia Nervosa. They think they look fat. You can watch a video of them and read a story about them by clicking this link.

Story #2

This is Steve. He is 24 and caught HIV the first and only time he ever had sex in his entire life. When reading his story you are indeed sad for him but the conclusion of course is that he was not using any common sense or protection and it is his own fault that he is HIV positive of course but it's a sad story all the same. Here is the link to his story.

Summary, last week I was under a ton of stress, nothing was going right, I was emotionally and physically drained and took a break from everything by spending a couple of days in bed. When I read these 2 stories and look back at last week. I don't even remember why I was so upset anymore. My life isn't so bad afterall!

Dennis Rodman Is Full Of Hiimself

2005-11-04T11:20:00.000-06:00

I just watched a video clip of Extra TV interviewing Dennis Rodman and I can't believe how full of himself he is.

First he starts off by saying he is in the same league and is an icon like Jimmy Hendrix only he's alive and Jimmy is dead of course so then he compares himself to the President of the US.

Then he says while on a tour bus one of the guards told him that he parties harder then any celebrity he's ever seen before only without the drugs.

Then he says he is the greatest rebounder of all times and probably the best basketball player EVER!

Someone better get a needle and it insert it in his forehead quickly to reduce that swelling!

Paris Hilton Thinks She's Dr. Phil

2005-11-04T10:55:00.000-06:00

Who do you turn to when you are devistated from a break-up with your long time mate?
Well who else but the queen of relationships; Paris Hilton of course!

According to thebosh.com it's not Sienna that caused the problem between Gisele and Leo. The real culprit is far more sinister: Paris Hilton, who allegedly dated DiCaprio in the past, has been offering him consolation since Gisele left him. At the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, Paris and Leonardo were "deep in conversation, Leo looked like he was in his element chatting away to Paris," the witness said.

That's odd because I thought the only thing Paris can talk about is herself?

Kevin Feds - On His Own With No Money

2005-11-04T10:01:00.000-06:00

Well, we are all well aware by now that Kevin has been kicked out and his money tap has run out since Britney got fed up (finally) and kicked him out for their "temporary" seperation. Well, last week he couldn't buy anything at Blockbuster or withdrawl any money from the ATM as he was DECLINED and here is a new pic of him on Tuesday going to buy something at the gas station and from the looks of it he got declined...AGAIN!

GOD I LOVE THIS! HAHAHAHAHA

Image Source: Celeb Web

NEWS FLASH - Nicole Richie Ate Something

2005-11-04T09:52:00.000-06:00

I am in shock folks...Nicole Richie actually ate something. I corndog with mustard even!
Now when I first saw the photos I thought it looked like Kim Stewart from behind and I was going to say Kim Stewart was practicing giving head to the corndog as part of the tutoring she has been receiving from her BFF Paris Hilton; but...I got a front shot and it is in fact Nicole Richie. I just can't believe that she was eating something. She must have been coming down from her high and got her appetite back briefly.

Image Source: CelebWeb

Helping Kevin Federline Learn Something

2005-11-04T09:27:00.000-06:00

Kevin seems to think that a bunch of overweight prestigious opera singers are following him around? I am going to teach him the difference, so here goes...

Kevin, This is Luciano Pavarotti... (lamens pronunciation - pa -va - rot - e)

And here is Papparazzi... (lamens pronunciation - pop - a - rot - z)

See the difference dumbass! Besides, as famous as you think you are? I guarantee that Luciano Pavarotti would not give your white trash, gold digging ass the time of day. He, unlike you, has class!

Single Ladies...I Have Found A Man For You

2005-11-04T08:51:00.000-06:00

While reading some other blogs I found this. Now make sure you read it all the way through before you close the window. This guy's name is Steven and he lives with his parents and just wants a friend. Keep in mind...he is NOT a stalker type person! ENJOY!

WTF - Another Crazy Person

2005-11-03T16:01:00.000-06:00

While I was looking for a picture of Vanilla Ice for my last post I ran across this!

Now this chick named Abbie Nixon is a weirdo. She talks on the site like her and Vanilla Ice really do talk to one another like they are great buddies. She says that someone e-mailed her that claimed to be a good friend of "The Iceman". She follows with how she finds it odd that Vanilla Ice never has brought up this dudes name to her before.

Then for proof she puts up pictures of her and him together and says "I love to spend time with the Ice, and I make a point of photographing us every time we get together. Here are just a few of the shots from my collection. Enjoy"! So I click on it (for proof) and I see this!

WTF! Then there is another spot that says how Vanilla Ice changed her life! He taught her the value of life because he taught her how to Stop, Collaborate and Listen!

Someone needs to take some medication!

Celebrity Comparison - Vanilla Ice - vs - K ' Fed (Daddy)

2005-11-03T14:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I put a link so you can listen to part of a track off of Kevin Federline's soon to release CD. (it wasn't working earlier and I have fixed it by the way) Anyway, People Mag is reporting that the critics are saying, "he's not even as good as Vanilla Ice"! Now that's harsh! How can they say that? Have your read these lyrics? That shit is deep man! Check it!

I should be saying keep my damn name out of your mouth but you people keep increasin' my change amount!
So, go ahead and say what you wanna I'm going to sell out, turn around and then I'm gonna!
I know you wish you was in my position cuz I keep getting in situations that you wish you was in cuz I'm not your brother, not your uncle, I ain't your daddy too! Stepping in this game and you ain't got a clue!
My prediction is that y'all gonna hate me and this style that we create straight 2008!
But I know that you really can't wait cuz people are always asking me when's the release date? Well maybe baby you can wait and see, until then all these pavarottis are always following me!
Getting anxious go take a peek, I'm starring in your magazine now every day of the week!

Back then they called me K Fed But you can call me Daddy instead!
Back then they called me K Fed But you can call me Daddy instead!

See what I mean? That is TIGHT! To the extreme he rocks the mic like a vandal! Oh shit, I mixed them up for a sec too.

Note: In case you are wondering if that is a typo (pavarottis) and it's supposed to be papparazzi? It's not, that is correct. He calls papparazzi pavarattis. I think it's because he is so damn stupid. As a matter of fact, I found some old love letters he wrote his girlfriend (the one before Shar) that he broke up with when she caught him cheating on her) and he misspelled pretty much every word. I will alwas love you, I didnt meen it!

What Does Nicole Richie Eat For Lunch?

2005-11-03T13:41:00.000-06:00

Well...for starters she has a glass of ice water with a lemon and looks at the menu (by looks I mean she looks at it sitting in front of her, unopened on the table)

Then the waitress comes and takes their orders and she orders an orange juice (I'm assuming to mix her metamucil in because that's how the way my Grandpa always did it)

Then she stares at her cell phone & drinks her orange juice while her friends eat and smoke cigarettes

Conclusion: Nicole needs to eat!

Image Source: CelebWorld

The List Of Celebrities That Hate Paris Hilton

2005-11-03T11:12:00.000-06:00

Well it's so long I really don't have the time to put them all down but today two more celebrities have been added.

Madonna and Val Kilmer both dislike the little lazy eyed slut as well.

Madonna fumed to Britain's Radio One: "People like Paris Hilton who come into a centre and buy a book or a band and that's it for them. It doesn't mean they study it". Madonna also says "Paris Hilton and other stars who dabble with the religion are damaging its credibility and I'm sick of it".

I hope Madonna kicks Paris' Ass!

Val Kilmer says: “She is famous for nothing,” he told the Scottish Daily Record. “It is what we celebrate — the nothingness of her fame. It’s funny, like a reality show that is her life. And she is flying with it, she made $100 million last year.”

I hope Val Kilmer's wife Kicks Paris' Ass! Actually I just want somebody to kick Paris' Ass! I don't care who it is. Maybe I could find a bum and pay him $100.00 to slap the shit out of her while everyone stood there and laughed. It would be worth the money and I could sell the photos for millions of dollars because ya know EVERYONE would like to see it just as much as me!

Countdown To Divorce Part Deux - Britney And Kevin

2005-11-03T10:12:00.000-06:00

Ok, earlier this morning I reported that Britney and baby flew home to Louisiana to "take a break from her marriage with Kevin"!

Well now I'm finding out that Britney has not only left but she has kicked Kevin out of the house as well. It is a beautiful puzzle and all the pieces are finally fitting into their appropriate places!

Sources have alleged the new mom has kicked her husband out of their Malibu home and demanded a trial separation after a blazing row, according to Stateside reports. Kevin is said to be staying at a friend's house until he can sort things out with Britney, but friends fear their marriage is heading for the rocks. A pal revealed to a US magazine: "Brit's had all she can stand of the problems with Kevin. She explained to him that the split would be temporary, that it would give them some breathing room to sort out their problems. Britney's giving it her all to make things work." Last week Britney was said to be upset that Kevin is not spending enough time helping her with their baby son, Sean Preston. Insiders claimed she was particularly annoyed when her husband spent two hours having his hair braided, while she was left to change the baby's nappies. Kevin has also reportedly been avoiding his fatherly duties by partying till the early hours at nightclubs.

Lets see here:

Kicked out - Check
Shut off his credit cards - Check
Says she wants a temporary split - Check

Again, I say I give it till the end of 2005 and they will be splitsville.

Newest Celebrity IT Couple

2005-11-03T09:56:00.000-06:00

Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto are officially a couple.

Their reps even said so!

I just hope he doesn't start hanging out with Asslee Simpson because then Asslee will end up writing a song called "I didn't steal another one of your boyfriends" and Lindsay in turn will write a song called "confessions of a broken heart; ex-girlfriend to ex-boyfriend. I don't think I could bear that. I don't want to hear either of them sing anymore!

Source - FemaleFirst

Countdown To Kevin And Britney's Divorce

2005-11-03T09:29:00.000-06:00

I know how stressful it must be for Britney to be taking care of the new baby all by herself while Kevin is off partying all the time. I mean imagine the stress of managing the nanny, the maids and that bodyguard and other dude that follow you everywhere; one carrying the baby and the other carrying the baby's stuff. Wow, it could really take a toll on ya I'm sure.

Well, EXTRA Online is reporting today that Britney had to take a break from her marriage with Kevin and fly home to Louisiana with baby Sean Preston to get that break.

"He's basically doing everything a new dad shouldn't be doing," said Us Style Editor Katrina Szish. Szish claims Spears has reached her boiling point with her, "insensitive" husband.

I gotta say that noone saw that comin!

How many more weeks do you give them? I bet they won't make it to the end of the year!

Story Of A Stupid Criminal

2005-11-03T09:22:00.000-06:00

My co-worker John is always showing me something that he thinks is hilarious and most of the time I tend to agree with him. He was reading MSN online today and found this:

In September, Anthony R. Martin, 52, of Belleville, Ill., became the latest person to call the police and complain that someone had stolen his illegal drugs. But there was more: Martin told the investigating officer that a hostile neighbor had taken his marijuana plants, but when he showed the officer the room where he usually kept them, the plants were actually still there. Martin then said whoever took them must have returned them. He was charged with growing marijuana. (He also admitted that he had been drinking that night.) [News-Democrat (Belleville), 9-10-05]

What a genius. I want to marry him and have his babies!

Nicole Kidman Is Devistated That Katie Is Pregnant

2005-11-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

Nicole Kidman is really upset about Katie Holmes being pregnant by her ex-husband Tom Cruise. Evidetally she is upset that Tom didn't tell her personally. She found out by the media just like all us common folk did.

I think the real reason she is upset is because Tom had sex with a woman and during all the years they were married Tom would only have sex with men. Well, there was that one time that he had sex with Nicole on Halloween because she was dressed like a man and it turned Tom on.

Source: MSNBC

Scientologists Are Crazy

2005-11-03T08:40:00.000-06:00

So as if John Travolta and Kelly Preston dancing "grease style" during the song "Stand By Me" on stage at a Scientology Awards Ceremony/Fundraiser isn't weird enough I just read this and got a kick out of it.

On MSN news today one of the freako's was quoted as saying, “It has been an amazing event and it is even more amazing that Tom has brought Katie,” a source told ContactMusic.com. “It feels really good knowing that she is one of us now.”

One of US now? Like one of the living dead now? Like she has traveled to the dark side now? What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Jake Gyllenhaal LOVES His Teeth

2005-11-03T08:28:00.000-06:00

Well I love Jake Gyllenhaal but that's besides the point. According to MSNBC Jakey Poo got "Lost In The Moment" while on set during a scene in which one of the other marines put his gun in Jakes mouth. Well, when the gun came out Jake realized that part of his tooth came out with it and became inferiated by it. He attacked the actor/marine that put the gun in his mouth and beat him to a pulp. The 2 actors didn't talk for a month after that. So when you go see Jarhead (believe me I'm gonna, not kidding) when you see that scene and the person says that was some great acting, you can say "that's not acting and that's real blood there man"!

Eva Longoria Tattoos Herself

2005-11-02T16:17:00.000-06:00

Eva is not only all hickied up by Tony Parker but he has marked his territory even farther. Eva has gotten Tony's initials tattood in a "private place" that only Tony is able to see. Well, it is better then the hickey's I guess but you know what this means don't you? It means the end is near. Whenever one of the parties tattoos the other ones name on their body the countdown begins....3, 2, 1....Now we can only wait patiently for the announcement of their break-up.

What's even funnier is that his initials are TP so when they do breakup all she has to do is put the word Use in front of his initials and here after his initials because after all you do "Use TP Here" on your female private parts now don't you?

Source: thebosh.com

Tom Cruise Receives An Award

2005-11-02T16:08:00.000-06:00

For being the biggest nutjob? No. He received the Scientology Diamond Meritorious Award for donating a staggering 2millionGBP to the organization. I still say it should be a diamond encrusted straight jacket though. He is looney tooney!

Source: thebosh.com

BRAVO TYRA BANKS!!! I APPLAUD HER

2005-11-02T15:56:00.000-06:00

I normally bitch about all the celebrities. I think that they are all selfish people that are inconsiderate of others feelings. Well today my foot was placed firmly in my mouth.

According to Yahoo Tyra Banks has taken some initiative to know how it feels not only to be an ordinary person but to see how it feels to live life as an obese person.

Tyra put on a fat suit and a makeup artist made her appear to be a 350 LB. woman.

Tyra said, "It seemed like the last form of open discrimination that's OK, and I decided to put on a 350-pound suit myself and live that life for a day and see what happens," the 31-year-old former supermodel told AP Radio in a recent interview. "And it was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. She was shocked at the reaction. I started walking down the street and within 10 seconds, a trio of people looked at me, snickered, looked me right in my eye and started pointing and laughing in my face. I had no idea it was that blatant."

I gotta go get my foot out of my mouth now!

Britney's Mommy Has Put Kevin's Spending Kapoot

2005-11-02T15:32:00.000-06:00

At least a month ago it was reported that Britney's Bank Account was running on E and it was due to the enormous amounts of spending that Kevin does on a regular basis. Well, Britney put Mama Spears on the case to fix the problem and that she has. I gotta tell you I laughed my ass off when I saw these pics today. I'm sure Kevin must be remembering pretty quickly what it felt like in the Pre-Britney days right about now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So Kevin goes to rent some video games since he is unemployed and wants to kill time and the clerk at Blockbuster has to inform him that his card is "DECLINED"! Oh I wish I could have been that clerk. I would have loved to laugh in his face! Anyway Kevin says, "Hang on, I'll go to the ATM and get some cash to pay for these rentals and...

The ATM rejects him as well, so...

Kevin leaves for his vehicle empty handed and...

Evidentally shit himself in the process as he is pigeon toed and standing quite uncomfortably.

The end is near my friends! I can't wait for the day that she kicks his worthless ass out! I think I will throw a party. I can't stand goldigging saps like this piece of white trash.

You Rate It - Kevin Federline Sample Track

2005-11-02T10:07:00.000-06:00

Remember last week when I told you about how Britney hurt Kevin's feelings when she laughed at him and mocked his sample music tracks when he played them for her? Well, now you can be one of the firsts to know why she was laughing!

Tell me if you like it or tell me how much you hate it.

Here is a sample of what Kevin Federline's New CD will sound like.

Kevin Federline - Y'all Aint Ready

Ready for what Kevin? Ready to puke? Ready to burn your cd? I'm ready, I'll tell ya that much! And what great lyrics, I just betcha he wrote them himself. Straight 2008 cousin! SWOON!

I hope he isn't planning on breaking the bank with this one. Brit better get back to work post-haste because this certainly isn't going to help with their money woes.

Star Jones Is A Royal Bitch

2005-11-02T09:34:00.000-06:00

Just look at her!

She really thinks her shit doesn't stink!

According to Yahoo News stars friends were quoted as saying: "She actually models herself on royalty — she wears a tiara whenever she can. Star loves being larger than life."

Star can be a nightmare to live with. "She's obsessed about the way she looks and the way her $2.25 million dollar condo home looks."All the canned goods in her kitchen have to be lined up with the label facing out, and in alphabetical order. And each time a bottle of chilled Cristal champagne is taken from her refrigerator, it must be replaced right away." Star is also requesting that her banker hubby Al Reynolds turns into a househusband when they adopt a child because she is the big breadwinner. There had been gossip about Al being gay before they wed. The news they may be adopting a baby — and Al will be a stay-at-home dad — has people wondering about those rumors.

Conclusion: Al is Stars big gay servant bitch!

Katie Holmes - Not Always Pleased With Tom

2005-11-02T09:21:00.000-06:00

Katie Holmes' happiness bubble finally burst recently when, a source says, her fiancé — Tom Cruise, asked her to sign a prenup."She freaked out," the source says. "I think she thought it meant that he wasn't sure their relationship would last."It certainly doesn't seem odd that Cruise would ask her to sign an agreement to protect his assets. But, says the source, the idea of a prenup hadn't occurred to the Holmes: "She is so head over heels in love with him and couldn't bear the thought that he might not be equally as in love."

Tom finally sold a tearful Katie on the agreement by telling her "that it's for her protection," a source says. "He explained that at 43, he's more than 16 years older than she is, and although he's healthy, who knows what life has in store?" Tom's father died in 1984 at just 49. Worried the same thing might happen to him, "he told Katie he wanted to create a prenup so that she will always be taken care of, no matter what." It seems that's just what Katie needed to hear. After they spoke, "she said she couldn't wait to be Mrs. Tom Cruise," says the source.

Source - Yahoo News

Reason # 714 Why I Don't Like Mariah Carey

2005-11-02T08:49:00.000-06:00

Real Nice! The woman needs to buy herself some class while she's out bra shopping! I just can't stand her and this is exactly why! I think she would be more appealing if she didn't have to flaunt her body constantly. Her voice is spectacular, there is no need to dress the way she does to appeal to her listeners. If she dressed like a lady, she's still have the same genre of listeners.

Mary Kate - Getting Back At Paris? Maybe...

2005-11-02T08:29:00.000-06:00

So last week it was reported that Paris and Stavros were making out intensly in front of Lindsay Lohan (Mary-Kates friend) on purpose to inferiate Lindsay and Mary-Kate.

Well, it seems that Mary-Kate can play that game too. According to thebosh.com Mary-Kate had a nookie moment last month with no other then Paris Latsis. Revenge is so sweet isn't it?

Well, Paris was a bit pissed about this evidentally because when male Paris showed up at The Hilton (The Inn) to attend a fashion show; Paris requested his ass be kicked out.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander bitch!

Christian Slater "Fell" Off Of A Roof

2005-11-02T08:13:00.000-06:00

According to thebosh.com Christian Slater fell off the roof of one of Paris Hiltons neighbors houses this weekend while attending her party. His rep said, "Mr. Slater...having a good time at Paris Hilton's party. If only every party ended with someone falling off the roof".

First of all that makes no sense, why would you want people to fall of of a roof at every party you have? Well, probably so Paris and Stavros could make fun of you of course but other then that I don't know why.

Secondly, it offered no real explanation of why he was on the roof in the first place. I think he was trying to commit suicide after he realized that while in a drunken stupor he had joined a gang bang earlier in the evening on Paris and thought that the fall would kill him more quickly and less painfully then the death from the disease(s) he probably caught from Paris and her Grand Canyon hoochie.

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together - Paris And Stavros Are A Real Class Act

2005-11-02T08:04:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how insensative some people are! I know I'm talking about the most selfish person in the world Paris Hilton but this just isn't funny at all!

According to Page Six the other night after a hard night of partying at the Element Stavros and his clan decided to ease their late night munchies by swinging by a Burger King. While outside they see a homeless man and Stavros paid the homeless man $100.00 to dump a soda on himself.

Well, of course the homeless man did it because he needed the money desperately but when he did it Stavros and his buddies all stood their laughing and making fun of him.

What a pig! No wonder Mary-Kate dumped his classless ass!

Fu***d Up Countdown

2005-11-01T16:03:00.000-06:00

I was channel surfing on Sunday while I layed my lazy ass in bed all day and I can't remember if it was on VH1 or E but they were having a countdown of the hottest 25 year old celebrities. Anyway I couldn't fricken believe it...Jessica Alba was #5 and Chelsea Clinton was #4??????

Who the hell did they survey on this and where did they find these people at? A known crackhouse? You would have to be in a stupor or in a comatose to say Chelsea is hotter then Jessica!

This was the best picture I could find of Chelsea and she still looks like Dog Shit. Jessica Alba is gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. I am surprised that she wasn't number 1. I don't who number 1 was though, I turned it when I saw that Chelsea beat Jessica. I am astounded that Chelsea made it on the list at all let alone in the top 5. I demand a recount!

Woody Allen And Soon Yi = ICKY

2005-11-01T15:33:00.000-06:00

I am speechless...AGAIN! This disgusts me and it should disgust you too!

This is what Woody Allen was quoted as saying about his marriage to his ex-stepdaughter:

"He has no regrets about his life, and actually cherishes the moment his former lover Mia Farrow discovered secret nude photos he'd snapped of her 21-year-old adopted daughter — and his future bride. It was one of the great pieces of luck in my life. It was a turning point in my life for the better."

Then he goes on to say that his marriage to Soon Yi has a very "paternal feeling" to it!

Ya Think? I'll tell you what I think. I think Woody is a sick perv! He used to change this girls diapers, he has an affair with her, marries her and has 2 kids with her now. Am I the only one that thinks this is not normal and disgusting?

Gisele And Leo - Kapootsville

2005-11-01T15:17:00.000-06:00

Don't you just love how ignorant that she ALWAYS looks?

Everytime I see her I think she must be thinking, "Huh, I don't get it"?

Well here's something she must know something about. Gisele and Leo on again-off again and this time I guess it's permenantly off. Evidentally one of them has fallen for someone else and left the other alone and in the dark. I feel bad for whichever one got the Dear John letter. OUCH! That's gotta hurt!

Source: Female First

Hickeys Are Trashy And So Is Eva Longoria

2005-11-01T15:10:00.000-06:00

YUCK!

Whenever I see people with Hickeys I think of how trashy they look. I never thought someone as beautiful as Eva would stoop to this level. I am shocked at her tastelessness!

As a matter of fact, last night some older kids/teenagers came to my door trick or treating and first of all I was annoyed because they were far too old to be trick or treating, secondly, I was annoyed because they had tattoos and hickeys all over their necks. I think they could see the disgust in my facial expression by the way they were looking at me. I said, "aren't you a little bit too old to be trick or treating"? They replied "yeah"! So then I said, "What are you dressed as, white trash"? Then I shut the door in their faces. My house will probably be vandalized because of it but I don't care. I bet it made them think!

Celebrity Match-Up - Mariacarla Boscono - vs - Adrianne Curry

2005-10-28T15:51:00.000-05:00

I don't know why H & M went to all the trouble searching for supermodels in other countries to replace Kate Moss when they had "America's Next Top Model" right here in the U S of A.

They look just the same except Mariacarla looks constipated!

Lindsay Lohan Has No Friends

2005-10-28T14:19:00.000-05:00

So...she hangs out with homeless aids victims. Look at this guy. He's skinnier then her! Look at his fricken arm for God's Sake! EWWWWW!

A HA Maybe she has taken to hanging out with homeless aids victims so that she looks better? Hmmmm I think I have stumbled onto something here...

Paris Hilton Cleaning???

2005-10-28T13:48:00.000-05:00

I think that she is cleaning up cum stains. I think that when Nikki got in there she was all, "Uh Paris, what is that"? and Paris replied, "Look at me, look at me, I'm Hot, giggle" then Nikki lost focus of what she was talking about in the first place. Then Paris quickly cleaned it up so as noone else would notice. She also offered Nikki some Krispy Kreme Donuts and Whisky to divert her attention away from what she was doing.

Nikki Hilton

2005-10-28T13:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Ummmm I really don't know what the hell she is doing there. I just thought it was funny.

Maybe she is doing her best impression of Paris' favorite activity?

What do you think?

Halloween Costumes...

2005-10-28T13:25:00.000-05:00

If the Donald Trump Halloween Costume wasn't your bag;

I may have found just the right thing for you to wear.

The Katie Holmes Costume!

Complete with press on cold soars/herpes, a black wig and a Scientology book to carry around. (Pregnant belly is optional)

I found it on Pink Is The New Blog! Trent is a GENIUS!