Natalie Cole Is Dumb...

So if you are singing a song at a benefit for Alzheimers what song would you sing? Well according to Page Six Natalie Cole obviously didn't put much thought into picking a song when she chose to sing "Unforgettable". Yes, It's a beautiful song especially when she sings it as a duet with her deceased father Nat but still, it was a poor choice. She must have forgotten what the benefit was for.

Hey Natalie, would you like me to spray some type of "I can't believe it's not butter" substance in your mouth to help loosen your foot? Seriously honey, fire whoever it was that told you to sing that at a benefit for Alztheimers immediately! Hopefully nobody will remember this incident! hahaha

Michael Jackson's New Album...I Can't Wait!

Michael Jackson is reportedly recording songs with his three children. . .The pop superstar, is reportedly planning to release an album one day with his eight-year-old son Prince Michael, his seven-year-old daughter Paris and his three-year-old son Prince Michael II, (who is known as Blanket)...According to America's New York Post newspaper, the family has been laying down tracks in a London recording studio - although Prince Michael II is not yet old enough to sing.

What fantastic news! I haven't been this excited since "MOONWALKER" was released on VHS! I got to thinking though...I wonder how good the children will sound singing since they are always covered with those shawls? Either way though...my Christmas gift wish list is now complete!

Elton John Plans His Second Wedding

Congrats are in order for Sir Elton John. According to FemaleFirst he and his long-time partner of 11 years David Furnish have booked a swanky castle for their Christmas nuptials. The pair are said to have hired Windsor's MacDonald Castle Hotel for mid-December - the same time as a new law allowing homosexuals to legally marry comes into effect. "They have organised a lavish meal to the finest detail". Last week, the flamboyant star told journalists at a fundraiser for his AIDS Foundation he was planning to be one of the first couples to wed under the new laws. He is quoted on the website Gay.com as saying: "It's going to be on the 21st of December. That's all I know at the moment". Last year, the singer revealed he had already picked his wedding guests, "I think I would like Lulu as my maid of honour and Victoria Beckham as my best man!" Won't that be neat?

This will not be the first wedding for Elton John. On Valentines Day 1984 he married engineer Renate Blauel in; the couple stayed married for four years, although he later admitted he realized he was homosexual before his marriage. Well, I'm sure she appreciated that!

Paris Hilton Bruises Easily

Poor poor Paris Hilton. She has got it so rough. Not only is she completely worthless and stupid as the day is long. She has to shop relentlessly with her daddy's money and be followed by "fans" on a daily basis which sometimes leaves her with bruises. Poor thing. According to Page Six, THOSE ugly bruises Paris Hilton was sporting on a Jimmy Choo shopping spree this week can be blamed on over-ardent fans, says Hilton consultant Elliot Mintz. "She's very slender and can bruise easily," Mintz explains. "And that's what happens when too many people are coming at her and bodyguards are trying to move her around." Mintz said Paris was in Las Vegas recently when she got mobbed. "You can say it was frenzied fan overreaction," he said — and the bruises are "absolutely, positively not" caused by her muscular new lover, Stavros Niarchos.

I was really hoping that someone beat the crap out of her just for being a worthless whore. What a wonderful day that will be when that finally does happen. Hey, I can dream can't I?

Matthew McConaughey Dinner Invitation

I would like to invite Mathew McConaughey over for dinner at his earliest convenience! Thebosh.com is reporting that Mathew says that the smell and taste of food turns him on so much that he has to stop eating sometimes because he is getting so aroused by the food. Well, if that is the case he is more then welcome to come by my place anytime for any meal he would like to eat. I get turned on by just looking at him, so this would work out just fine for me! I would be happy to slave over a hot stove all day long, everyday for Mathew McConaughey! He is YUMMY and his voice is so sexy I swoon!

Sharon Osbourne Calls Madonna A Hooker

But isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? I mean seriously!

Lately I have been reading rude statements made by Sharon Osbourne about pretty much everyone and now her latest target is Madonna. Last month she said she would like to punch Madonna and that she sees Madonna in her nightmares. Now last week she ranted about Madonna constantly changing her image and says the 47-year-old mother-of-two should act her age. ."It's like dressing up with her. One day you're in f***ing gun gear, then you're in horsing gear, then you dress like a f***ing dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you're in a flowery dress reading kids' poetry looking like you're a f***ing librarian - then you're back looking like an old hooker again."You can't one day be in Horse and Hound magazine and the next in Dyke Weekly". Sharon has also ridiculed Madonna's children's books, which are based on the teachings of the mystic Jewish faith Kabbalah. She told Word magazine: "Writing those painful, silly children's books and reading them to your kids - if my mum came up to me with a book like that I'd say, 'F***ing stick it up you're a***' F***ing 'English Roses' - b*****ks" .

Well, no wonder Sharon and Ozzy's kids are so f'd up! Their mom should get some type of bad parenting award! I doubt Sharon ever read to them as children and you know Ozzy didn't because I don't think he CAN read.

Who Wore My Grandma's Tablecloth Better?

The answer is not Shannen Doherty or Natasha Richardson...the answer my friends is my grandmother's table. It looks best there and should remain there...forever!